You know, Jon, one of the commitments that I made when I started doing the show was to bring in individuals who have a great outlook on life, caregiving, relationships, family, and a lot of humor.
And I reached into your vault, Jon, and brought out one of your childhood heroes who shaped you as a young Jon Butler. And this is Jim Brewer. People know him from all over the country and the world. From Saturday Night Live, Home Improvement, he does tons of comedy stuff. But you know what? Everybody is affected by this issue of being a caregiver, and Jim's no exception.
Except he did it a little bit different. So Jim, welcome to the show. And I'm so glad you're here with us.
It's great to be here. I love this topic. You embraced something different. You took care of your father for a long time. Your relationship with your dad was so fabulous.
And it's been talked about a lot, but I want you to share it with our audience on what happened. Because not only did you serve as a caregiver for him in his later time, but you guys formed an act together. He was always really funny growing up, but he was a completely different style of humor than mine. He came from a dark world. He came from that World War II era. He had ten brothers and sisters. His mom died by the time he was three. And then by the time he was in high school, he was off in World War II for three or four years. His life wasn't pretty, and the more I learned about that and realized that man never complained a day in his life, I think he's one of the greatest humans I ever came across.
And he always found the funny and he's always black and white with the most harshest things. He's like, you're not going to believe what happened. I go, well, you know, I guess that sucks. And I was like, no, you don't understand. He goes, no, I do. It sucks. What else do you want to say? And no matter what happened, if it was death, if it was the worst breakup, I just saw someone got hit by a car. I lost.
It doesn't matter. Well, that sucked. And I'm like, that's all you have? You know what?
He sums it up. I mean, you know, my sister passed away two years ago. When he passed away, it was just like, so, you know, what are you going to say? It sucks. Okay, now what?
Just move on. It sucks. Tell me when you decided to go into comedy.
Now, given his background, I mean, that's the greatest generation. That's a different world. And you're going into comedy. How did that conversation go?
You know what? I came to him. I came to vote for my parents.
It was 1989. I already wanted to go into comedy. I already dabbled in it. I already dabbled in acting.
I loved acting. And then they moved to Florida and I kind of lost direction. And I finally said, you know what? This is not my destination. My destination is not to fall back and have an education.
It just, it's not me. And when I finally made that decision and I went there, my mom had a heart attack, but my father was the one who said, you listen to me. You're young and you go after your dream. I never had that chance. The last thing you want life is to be your late twenties and thirties and the resent that you never went after your dream. You do it now.
You go for it. And at that, I'll never forget that moment. And quite honestly, he wasn't a conversationalist. I think that was one of maybe six conversations I had with him my whole life. But what a conversation though, Jim. What a conversation. What a conversation.
What a conversation. And that altered, you know, a big start in my life. And then I knew my parents were older, so I felt horrible leaving them. It was almost like leaving children, even though I knew they were okay. They were hitting seventies by the time I was getting out of the house down in Florida. And it was, I always brought him on the road with me since the early nineties.
I always had them part of my life, both my mom and dad. And when I got Senate live and fly him up and he was so horny when I introduced him to people, he just, all he cared about was, does this guy drink beer and hang out or does he car the Elk Club? I mean, it went from Steve to Sylvester Stallone. You gotta do the thing about me to Sylvester Stallone.
You gotta do that. I mean, it was just... Yes, I mean, I introduced him to Stallone. He's telling me this whole thing. He's like, you know, I heard he has a place in the block. You think he's in the Elks? What? I said, I doubt it because he should look into it. And he wasn't trying to be funny, was he?
No, not at all. He's dead serious. So then I introduced him to Sylvester Stallone and Stallone was such a great man. I really, I really admired that man.
And he told amazing stories. I said, do you mind meeting my dad? My dad is dying to meet you. Because you all love to meet your father. I said, you know, he's a World War II vet. He was like, oh my God, he's a man. So I get Dad, it's just Stallone and Mr. Stallone, it's my dad. And he goes, you call me, call me Sylvester.
World War II, I mean, it's amazing. And my father goes, you got a place in Florida? Because I live in Florida. Yeah, yeah, it's Hollywood.
Not Hollywood like Hollywood, it's Hollywood, Florida. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. They got an Elks where they're at. They have an Elks club.
And he looked at him and he looked at me like he didn't know if he was kidding, but he could tell by my face he wasn't kidding. And he goes, Elks? He goes, yeah, spaghetti night on Tuesday night, I get drinks. I make spaghetti at these, I'll mow down the Elks club to Planet Hollywood. And my father goes, he doesn't even miss a beat, Planet Hollywood, $15 a beer. And he makes a gesture that he's playing with his donkey. And he goes, yeah, I'll bring you the Elks club.
You'll be out of business in five years. But you know what? That's got to be so deeply meaningful to you to have those kinds of things, to have that interaction with him. And I love the fact that you're not working out your angst on stage. You celebrate this man for who he was and that is so endearing. I learned so much from him. Even that moment, even meeting Sting, he goes to meet Sting and my dad goes, what's your name? He goes, Sting. Sting? Sting? Sting? His mother named you Sting. He goes, no, that's my stage. And he just, he put his hand in the air. He said, Adam. Isn't it great to have that?
Yes. What it taught me was at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you're the CEO, you're the biggest star, you're the biggest whatever. Here's a man whose credentials blow yours away or match yours on a different level. And it's, you know, and whatever faith you're into, I learned so much about, you know, they talk about whatever Lord or God you follow with sacrifice. This man sacrificed. He sacrificed his whole life. And there's a lot of us that have family members that sacrificed their life.
There's no books written about them. There's no, you know, altar made for them. But who's to say what sacrifice is bigger than the other? I mean, the man had no mother, 10 kids, abused as a kid, watched, was in World War, watching people get maimed, forced to have to kill people. I mean, so at the end of the day, it just taught me so much about it doesn't matter. You're the CEO, you're the president, or you're the biggest star, you're the biggest, you don't have, you don't know what you have over the person living right next to you. And that person could have been a greater success, a greater person than you.
They're just not glorified for it. That's beautiful. That is beautiful. And as he, as his health started to decline and you stepped into a role of caregiver, what were some of the things going on in your heart during that time? Well, the hardest thing, the hardest thing, honestly, was not watching him struggle, you know, soiling himself, dropping a deuce, which I would make company about. I mean, I said my next book is going to be the top 10 cities my father crapped himself in public.
I'm not even kidding you, at least 10 cities where I'm gagging in the bathroom of a five-star hotel and in the American Airlines club that I forced my way. But the worst for me was to see him defeated. So I knew he was defeated on many levels. You know, when an elderly lose their car, they get defeated emotionally and they, it's almost like they know, uh-oh, this is, you take a big chunk out of their life.
This is really happening. Um, you know, he said things to me, like, uh, I think my days are numbered and that was before his dementia really kicked in. I said, what do you mean by that?
I think my days are numbered. And I, I went out of my way. If I had a tour, I didn't care how much it costs. I'm bringing it with him. I lost money by hiring a tour bus and I didn't care. I just, to me, it meant more to be there. I don't want him alone to go through this. And I begged God, please God, make sure I'm there.
And I was, so it was great. But I remember one time he dropped the, he's in the plane, we're taxiing, we just landed and the whole time I'm like, please don't crash. Please. Please don't drop the disc. We're almost there.
It's only an hour and a half flight. And we land, we're taxiing, and he looks at me and he goes, I got to go. Oh God, dad, please.
Just can you hold it? And he went, okay, yeah, no, I held it. And then it's like when you smell that diaper and I'm looking, I knew it was him, but I'm looking, there was a baby, a couple of rows behind me. You're going to have to change that kid.
You know, looking at 4A because it's back there in 13B. Well, see, this is why, this is why I wanted you on the show so much, Jim, because you bring such a heart to this and you can tell that you're, you're great love for your father and this thing. And so many people get resentful. They're, they're doing what you did, but they're doing it with clenched fist and you're doing it with a grieving heart. You've got tears coming down your face, but you're laughing at the same time because you love this man so much and you respect him. And I can't tell you how grateful I am that you've shared a little bit of your heart. We're about out of time, but I want to make sure I talk about a little bit of things that you are doing right now. You're a big, big time baseball fan, big time baseball fan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I started, I started this Mets recap where after every Mets game, I would put a recap and it really turned into something cool and all that jazz. And I didn't know they'd make it to the World Series that year, which is why every game became even bigger viewership. And I did it last year, even though only the diehard fans know. But what I liked was I started this whole community of baseball fans, a Washington fan, a great fan who just went through games with it. Out west, Seattle, I have all these different fans and I said, you know what?
It'd be really cool if everyone else started making recaps. And by the end of the year, we can start our own little ESPN for fans run by the fans. I just sat with, I went to Atlanta, sat with one of the fans and a recap guy who does Atlanta. And I was more fascinated to listen to him talk about the Braves and each player than any ESPN would analyze.
They're like, wow, such a great fan point of view. And I went, there has to be. So I created Bats, Balls and Brew, B-R-E-U. And people go on that site and in the next month I'm going to be looking at certain recaps, picking people, calling them up and creating some online network, which now there's two different networks that are like, hey, we really want to get involved with this. This is a great idea. It's awesome to be a Mets fan sitting there talking to a Nationals fan who I can't stand.
Well, to be fair. And a Phillies fan and I'm at a game with a Braves fan and we're just talking baseball and it's a pretty awesome community. So I hope more people get involved. You can put your videos up at Bats, Balls and Brew. And I'm going to put that on our website here. Bats, Balls and Brew. And that's B-R-E-U dot com. That was dot com. OK. Just checking.
Bats, Balls and Brew dot com. And we'll have that out there. And Jim, we only got just a couple of seconds left. You bring such a heart to this thing and people need to hear this. It's OK to celebrate even the crappy things, literally the crappy things going on. It's OK because we're celebrating the life of someone we love. Yes, it's painful.
Yes, it's hard. Yes, our heart breaks through all these things. But we also are celebrating this thing and you've done that. Just one last thing.
To somebody who's taking care of their dad right now, what's your heart to them? Here's the thing. You can't get angry.
You can't take it personal. It is your parent. But when you don't understand the circle of life, which they don't teach you in school. The circle of life is your child, your nurtured. Then you go on your journey. You create your family.
However, your parents are not those strong bulls. They now deteriorate. They become children. And your next cycle, if you're strong enough to do it, is take care of them. You can't get angry at them because they don't have the strength or they don't have the emotional drive knowing they're going to see soon. You have to step out of that personal realm and realize where they're at in life and step up to help them.
Last little thing. For you as a caregiver, what was something that you specifically did just to protect your own heart in this thing? To be quite honest with you, telling people the stories and kept my close friends. If you don't have friends that can make you laugh, you're doomed.
You're doomed. Heartache is a part of life, but the greatest healing is laughter. I don't care what anyone says. For someone to sit there and laugh about pooping yourself, that is harsh to deal with. But when you have people busting each other's chops, you need that laughter. You need that person that's cold or funny and knows how to get it. You need it.
It's the best step in the world to get you through it all. That's the perfect note to end this on. Jim Brewer, everyone. We've known him for years out on stage and comedy, but now you see his heart.
Now you see why I wanted him on this show. This show is all about that. Bringing a little bit of laughter, a little lightheartedness, and wrapping our arms around you all as caregivers as best as we can because I need you to do that for me as well. We're all in this together. We're going to get strong together. We're going to laugh together. We're going to grieve together, but we're going to do it in a healthy place. Jim Brewer showed us how to do that a little bit better today. My question is to anybody that comes into my circle, how is this going to help me take care of my wife with severe disabilities?
If it doesn't strengthen me and if it doesn't equip me to better do that, then get out of the way. I'm going to find somebody that can. You helped me to do that today just by lightening my heart. I'm extremely grateful, Jim. I'll have this up on the website. If this is a Father's Day show, please know you have my gratitude.
I'll put a link up. Oh my God, absolutely. Anything you need, please, please reach out. Don't hesitate. I love, I live for this. I live for it.
To me, my passion heart is there. I'll do a whole tour for you if we have to. Well, whatever you need. I'm with it. Well, John, you shaped John's adult life, which I think you probably ought to face some type of charges for that. I'm not really serious. I'm sorry about that.
I apologize. However, I am really glad because I'm glad you're a Mets fan. I love baseball myself. I'm glad you're a Mets fan.
Said very few people ever. I know, right? Well, I'm a fan. I'm a fan of whoever's beating the pants off of Boston.
That's who I'm a fan of. Listen, you're a busy guy and you've got to go, and I'm going to run and go be a caregiver myself here. Later. Thank you, man. Thanks, Jim. Later. Thank you. Hey, this is Larry the Cable Guy. You are listening to Hope for the Caregiver with Peter Rosenberg. And if you're not listening to it, you're a communist. Get her down.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-01-24 01:15:56 / 2024-01-24 01:23:42 / 8
